Getting Out the Door

I once wrote a song called "Manpurse." You can hear it on my website if you want, but the point of it is that there was a time when I could just remember that I needed my wallet and my keys and I could walk right out the door. The world was my oyster. I could get in the car, hop on my bike, catch a train, and be anywhere I wanted for as long as I would like. In the song, a new job weighs me down with a phone and a planner, and I decide to solve my conundrum with a manpurse.

Then I had a kid.

It seems now that I am always trying to keep track of the things I need in order to get out of the house and manage with my little dude for however many hours or days we will be out. Lists are very helpful here, but to be perfectly honest, I don't exactly have a list for every occasion. This morning, for example, I needed to take my car into the shop. Fair enough. I'm pretty good at this one:

Diaper bag (the manpurse comes, too, but Yoni has more supplies)
Cloth Bibs (I have a little drool-bot, made out of DNA)
Diapers
Wipes
Changing mat
Extra outfit (You never know when there'll be a poop explosion)
Plastic bag (see above)
2 servings of dry cereal and food (you never know how long you'll be waiting for a mechanic)
Plastic bib
Bottle of breast milk (That stuff deserves its own chapter!)
Toys

I wanted to get to the mechanic on time, so I woke the baby, loaded him in the car in his cute winter hat, and headed to the auto shop. Everything seemed like it was in order. I mean as much in order as you can be when it's 25 degrees out and you have no car. It took a good two hours before I realized what I forgot to bring. Yoni alternates meals: food, milk, food, etc. Just as I was getting ready to give the little guy a bottle, I realized that I forgot something really important: a nipple.

Now you all must be thinking the same thing as I am: Ilan, you love nipples! How can you forget them? But this is what fatherhood will do to a person.

So there I am in the baby needs section of the supermarket, looking at bottles and nipples, trying to find the cheapest, when I realize that it won't do me any good to buy nipples or bottles, because they need to be boiled before the first use, and I don't think there's anyone in the supermarket giving out sterile nipple samples today.

Now Yoni is getting restless. He's been rolling around a big supermarket all morning in his stroller, and he is getting pretty hungry. To make matters a little more stressful, the car won't be ready today, so Kate, my wife has to come down and pick us up. Luckily, she has two nipples, so Yoni got fed, and we got a ride home. Now I know: don't forget the nipples!