Deep Breathing And The Difficulties Therein

Anyone who has ever lived within a 90-mile radius of my home is very likely aware that I snore. And we're not talking about some kind of Walt Disney snore either.I'm talking about a sound that the U.S. Army might have used in 1989 to drive Manuel Noriega from his compound and into U.S. custody.

I've always been a snorer. At least since my first time at sleep-away camp. I've been asked kindly to turn over; I've been gently nudged; I've had my nose squeezed; I've had pillows thrown at me; and I've been elbowed in the ribcage. It's all part of a good night's sleep for me.

For years, I thought it had to do with being overweight. Then I lost a lot of weight, but I kept snoring. It never really bugged me so much, so I just kept on snoring away. Sometimes I wake up with a sore throat or my entire uvula hanging down onto my tongue, but other than that, my snoring bugs other people more than it bugs me. Just ask my wife.

Well, Kate, Yoni and I are on a really good insurance plan here in Ithaca. I just mentioned the fact that I snore to my doctor back in August, and he set me up for a sleep study. I went in October. They wired me up with a whole bunch of electrodes and attached me to a battery pack and stuff and then monitored me while I slept.I am used to waking up a couple times a night, so I was a little bit surprised when the doctor told me I had woken up 35 times! PER HOUR!!!!!! No wonder I feel groggy sometimes.

Anyway, after another night spent in the sleep lab, they decided to set me up with a machine called a CPAP. It blows air in through my nose while I sleep so that my airway doesn't collapse in the night.

I was supposed to pick up the machine today, but I had no idea I would also be picking up something at the home care store for another member of my family.

Yoni turned 9 months old today. He's a healthy, happy guy, but he's had a cough for quite a while. We went for his 9-month check-up today and the doc decided to start Yoni on a nebulizer. It's a little machine that turns asthma medicine into steamy goodness for you to breathe in. Yoni did not like it one bit, but we have to do it.

It's hard for me to make Yoni so uncomfortable, but I have a few ways of looking at the bright side of this:

1. The doctor has Yoni taking steroids to clear up his lungs. All the top athletes in the world take steroids, so Yoni is in good company. (I don't know why he doesn't believe me)
2. Now Yoni and I can do some father-son bonding over our breathing equipment.

I guess I got pretty freaked out when Yoni had to wear the mask in the doctor's office and it was hard just to hold him in place while he had this mask on and was screaming. Still, I know as well as anyone else that I am blessed for this to be the extent of life's difficulties. I may be wearing a silly mask and trying to stay happy by sitting in front of funny lamps, but lemme tell ya, I got it made in the shade!
Seriously, who else has all this?